Thursday 19 September 2013

CrunchyApple’s Court- You Be The Judge

Everyday we hear about weird cases being deliberated in court, sometimes the judges get it right and other times we wonder if the judges were actually thinking straight. Bringing to you today is a weird case I’m throwing up for deliberation, Kindly read, digest and be the judge:


“A 43-year-old woman, Omolara Acchoyame, recently dazed her husband before the Igando Customary Court in Lagos State Nigeria, when she alleged that sex with her husband was torture.
Omolara, who had filed for divorce proceedings against her husband, Solomon Acchoyame, alleged that he exhibited strange behaviours while ma*king love to her.
She alleged that he waited for her to sleep, then without waking her up, just opens her clothes and had sex with her, adding that she never enjoyed this.

Omolara further told the court that her husband had three things which he used during sex for lubrication, listing them as aboniki hot balm, mentholatum and dusting powder, adding that these things made her hate having sex with him.
She testified that she met her husband 14 years ago and bore him three children, adding that their major quarrel was based on the fact that he didn’t know what he’s doing for a living.
“We fought most times before I left home because I don’t know what he does for a living. He goes to his village three times a week and I don’t know the reason for this since his parents are dead and when he comes back, he would say he does not have any money.
“ I would go to my sister to borrow money for him for his next trip. Yet, he will come back and curse me and my family and he doesn’t come home until midnight.
“My husband does nothing for a living. Please dissolve the marriage so that I can start my life all over again,” she said.
In his defence, the 44 year-old husband stated that when he met his wife at the University College Hospital (UCH) in Ibadan, Oyo State, things were going on well for him and it was with his money that he trained her in the university.
Solomon said that after a while, he started experiencing financial difficulties and he couldn’t complete his education.
“I want to perform my obligations as a father and husband, but I am handicapped,” he said.
The case was adjourned till September 25.”
NB: Apart from a morbid feeling I have that the man in question may have a thing for necrophilia, is this a normal sexual behavior going by your experience? If you were the judge, how would you settle this matter?


Source: The Tribune via Happy Ima F.

24 comments:

  1. Give them time to resolve their issues,by adjourning the matter.

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  2. Why would I rub balm on my ding dong when I want to make love to my woman? The hotness, will make my wetin call flaccid!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Hahahaahaahahahaha Naija people!!!!!

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    2. no be small thing Cheta,......unless he dey wear condom rub am on am

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  3. It's better to rub vaseline or olive oil on the manhood before indulging in sex which enables lubrication especially when the woman isn't ready for sex!

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  4. Aboniki the new lubricant,
    The man is seriously a freak.
    I think he should count his stars
    Cos if it was me, him prick for dey Grill for oven ask I type this,him for kuku ask her to use am wank him Bastard husband, I don't even know why the court is wasting time, maybe its a freak judge.

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    1. Happy please read d first paragraph. I quote “A 43-year-old woman, Omolara Acchoyame, recently dazed her husband before the Igando Customary Court in Lagos State Nigeria, when she alleged that sex with her husband was torture."

      D man was dazed bcos he didn't know where dat allegation was coming from. D woman has probably gotten a more well to do guy who is shining her congo outside for her. Now she cooks up dis weird story. She for kuku accuse d man of using suya pepper.

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    2. Good point!!!
      Sypho1

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    3. MoB, i dey suspect u wella.....aboniki mixed with suya pepper :p

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  5. I doubt dis woman's story. Mehn, which guy will us aboniki on his john~thomas? Dats suicidal mehn. I believe d woman just wants out cos d guy is not financially stable. The rest are just stories to strenghten her case.

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    Replies
    1. MoB Imo!hahahahahah Aboniki anyone?.

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    2. MoB, out after 13yrs and how many kids? but the man strange o, i would assume aboniki go peel him abunna.....abi he think say dat na easier manner for circumcision?

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  6. When I read that 'dazed her husband', I felt the journo didn't have a grasp on his grammar, but now that MoBillions has mentioned the implication, maybe that woman is lying for real.

    But then I'd say, love no be by force. If anyone is tired of being with anyone else or miserable for whatever reason, separate or possibly divorce. These things no be by force!

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  7. The only way this allegation would have made sense was if the man was in a cult and had to go through this "Ritual" in a bid to keep his wealth or something but I understand he doesn't have Shishi... It's either She is telling lies, He is telling lies OR both of them are telling lies!

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    Replies
    1. so make dem both try am without aboniki and then come back and yarn us

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  8. Aboniki??? Not plausible...

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  9. So she has been enjoying or enduring this Aboniki treat until now, after several years. She enjoys it joor. She just wants to leave the poor man and go hook up with a rich dude. I bet she'll ask the new dude to use a mixture of Essential Balm (unto temple of heaven) and the same Aboniki on her. I bet she likes it hot and rough (correct woman!!!). That's if she's telling the truth...
    Sypho1

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    Replies
    1. and after such mix, dem go do am infront of airconditioner vent for further hot chilling sex

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  10. Ouch! Ouch!! Ouch!!! Aboniki!!!!!!!!! That man's level of friskiness has evil BDSM in it o. Or there is an element of lie in the woman's claim? How does he bear the pain that comes with that balm on his JT? There is a Part 2 to this story that we have not heard!

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