Wednesday, 14 August 2013

It's Real, It's True, What Would You Have Done? What Should He Do?

The story is painful, sad and intriguing he said; wetin happen? I asked him. “I need you to share this story with your readers and I want honest answers………”

That was the opening of our chat and he went on to share a story with me, a story I know should be familiar with a lot of people, a story of love, sacrifice, betrayal , pain and despair, a story that must have an ending, good or bad. But he needs your advice to reach that decision so here it goes:

“A friend has 3 kids from same woman but hasn't paid her dowry and doesn't intend to because of lies & intrigues by the girl's family. There's no love lost among the parents of the both parties.
He has been in a relationship with the lady for over 11 years and the lady has 3 kids for him and he has vehemently refused to pay her dowry. He's reasons being that she lies a lot. Recently, he discovered that a certain man who currently holds a high position in government was having an affair with her while she made him believe he was her uncle not until his gateman caught the supposed uncle kissing madam in his car.  
The gateman later told him that whenever he oga travelled, the uncle stays late in the house before taking his leave (she still denies this till date). He has secretly conducted a DNA that confirmed his paternity of the 3 kids. He considers the girl's mother being hugely responsible for her daughter's misdemeanors, being a serial divorcee, alcoholic, morally bankrupt with no value for marriage or family. 
 He has tried severally to re-orient the lady, but his efforts are sabotaged by the girl's mother who has insisted on living under same roof with her daughter (being her only child). He has also noticed her mother's penchant for dressing seductively and flaunting it in his presence whenever he's alone with her at home. 
The high point was her stooping low to flash her *thing* in pretence to pick up something that fell off her hand.. He doesn't want to expose her to her daughter, instead he told her to caution her mother on appropriate dressing. His parents have vowed never to allow him marry her either because they found her very disrespectful, furthermore, reports from her mother's Exs' accuses her of being diabolical. 
He loves his kids to bits and wishes things were different because she's been a good mother to the their 3 kids. But the lady still lies terribly and her mother is not helping the situation either. He has no mistress or girlfriend and believes a man should be committed and faithful in a relationship, but the love he had for her ended long ago.”

Do you think it's wise for them to continue in a loveless relationship for the interest of the kids or should they find love out there and still be responsible parents to the kids? Should he still go ahead and pay her brideprice?


  1. This guys is not serious, how can u have 3 kids from a woman you claim not to have a single feelng or respect for and still need advice. He already failed 3 times. Ithink he should be a real man. Throw d moda inlaw out immediately, place rules dat most be kept by the wife if she fails u throw her out too if she changes u make her a wife. Who says there r no successful single fathers out there. Na wen dem conspire kill u na em ur eye go open.

  2. Which bride? Which price? The guy is obviously a Learner! How can you father three children from the same woman you claim you have issues with? You mean you didn't realize until after the third child came? Both of them have their issues. Not just the lady. That thing they have is not even a union. It doesn't have the blessings of a marriage so I wonder what he meant when he said he wants to "leave". The children are his, no contest. But he should Save himself the heartache and go get married...or forget marriage and take care of his Children.

  3. Abeg he knows what he wants. He has told his side abi? What about the womans part meanwhile why would he listen to his security man? That's absurd. She lies a lot bla bla bla, her mom is wayward bla bla bla, you saw all that and still had 3kids with her? This story is annoying biko don't wanna start my day pissed. Estelle, I have no advice for your friend he should deal with it. Hoo haaa.

  4. Was he charmed, how come he has three kids with this same woman???? Didn't he see the signs???? His parents warned him and he still went ahead to have more kids with her, did she use Jazz on him? Though he doesn't sound like one that's Jazzed, Biko let him carry his cross Jare, he knows what to do let him do right,

  5. It is not as simple as you guys make it sound. If it was easy for the man he would have done all you guys have said. Everything has to be done with utmost wisdom people. For people saying throw the mother in-law out, make it sound so easy, mother in-laws are the hardest of human beings to deal with so let's forget about that issue. The man should seek the face of God for direction and moreover he hasn't married her so why bother? He thinks he loves her but clearly he pities her to still be with her and make her change. You can't change an adult unless the person decided to or God. As for my uche that says a man can take care of kids, na lie, very big lie for a Nigerian man to do that without the help of a sister or mother. When they cannot even help with the child. When men feel its a woman's role to take care of kids. So I disagree.

  6. Nigerian Movie!!!

  7. Sometimes when a woman fails in her duty to take care of the kids,a responsible man can do that even more than the woman...this guy should let go cos an affair in her husband's house?is a dangerous game.the mans's life is already on d line..he should be wise!!

  8. A woman that is having an affair right under her husband's roof is a muderer!!the man should throw them out,except he is not the man of the house...rubbish!

  9. Hummmm they had the this kids when the love was on smoothly, probably the first kid should be around 8 or 7 years old. The most important thing is the children which he has confirmed that are his and the welfar of the children is more important than the bride price.
    He should first Chase the mother in-law out is the most important thing and still give her chance to repent. During this period he will also be buying time for the children to grow I believe she will change.
    To me it is time she will change once the mother leave their home because a mother who makes sexual advance where his daughters husband is is a bad influence to the daughter.
    My guy take it easy ok everything is possible if u believe.

  10. As for me, if i was the man, i for dey sing Saka song

    "I don port o! I don port go another relationship. Eh, kirikata kirikata, carry ya yawa go..........."

  11. Hummm una comment no they help oh.....
    The store line says

    ***He loves his kids to bits and wishes things were different because she's been a good mother to the their 3 kids. But the lady still lies terribly and her mother is not helping the situation either. He has no mistress or girlfriend and believes a man should be committed and faithful in a relationship, but the love he had for her ended long ago.”***
    Remember this isnt for the interest alone of the man but the children. Make una try small understand no be the one way day outside be Angeloo.

  12. olivera francis14 August, 2013 08:56

    Wow, funy uve hard three kids with her n Ur still not sure about her but ur so sure ur going to impregnant her the fouth time n by d way why won't she lie to you,?ARE YOU HER HUSBAND, its when ur her husband dat u can automatically bend her for now, traditionally, dose kids are hers if u don't marry, u hav no case., n if dat house u guys are staying is urs throw her mum out, she's not a gud role model for dose kids

    1. Happy Ima Farah14 August, 2013 16:47

      Well said dear,he won't maker her a house wife but can have 3 kids with her and wants her to be faithful! What is he thinking but seriously her mother has to go.

    2. Happy, abeg come born one for me osiso mbok

  13. They are not married and from the look of things/situation, they might not get to marry. He has just succeeded in helping the lady increase their family fold because he cannot claim those kids as his! He should better go find another lady and marry her properly and start anew...

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