Sunday, 30 June 2013

What Goes Through Your Mind When You Watch Your Pastor Preach?

I used to sit amongst the congregation and stare at my pastor while he preached. I know I’m not the only one whose thoughts roam while in church but I’m going to allow you a peep into Crunchy’s warped mind and I expect you to share your private thoughts with me because this blog is all about full disclosure.

I used to wonder thus:

“So after all this preaching now pastor will go and “do”? na wa o! how can he? Isn’t he meant to be chaste, holy and pious? Just like he and the bible expects of us?”

I used to believe that a pastor shouldn’t debase himself with the crude nature of sex, a pastor shouldn’t have sex, he should be a monk and any pastor that indulges in sex isn’t a serious pastor! But now I know better, I now know that a pastor is first of all a man before a pastor, I’m now aware that when it comes to sex , anointing no reach there because your pastor is like every other man, his phallus isn’t wooden,  its warm and throbs too. Just like the way he nurtures his spiritual life, the physical needs to be nurtured too except ofcourse those spiritual leaders who by oath abstain and funny enough anointing has a way of protecting them from grey the areas of sex.

This goes to those who have high expectations of their spiritual leaders like I earlier did, he is a man, he’s warm blooded, has emotions, feelings and also reacts to stimulus like every other man, for those who try to tempt their pastors to see how resistant they can be, hell is your portion because at some point you'll succeed.

Im grown now, I don’t think that way anymore, I’m more preoccupied with how he intends spending my Sunday offering and tithe.

What goes through your mind when you watch your pastor preach? 


  1. Hahahhahahahhaha Estelle you won't kill me this sunday morning!
    Come sef,you no go church? I go report you ooo! Blogging during church hours! No mind me,am even commenting in church*winks* lol

    1. Grace when you ping in church, you excite the devil. meanwhile look at your pastor well and tell me what's on your mind.

    2. Hmmmmm, hard to say but I must say it. Whenever I look at a pastor, the 1st place I look at is d zip of his trouser. Lol. I imagine d size of his penis, how good he is in bed, if he is a good kisser (dats wen am looking at his face). I jst hope its not a sin cos I do it all d time

  2. Okechuku Izeogu II30 June, 2013 13:02

    My attention span in church was for exactly 30 minutes...and I'm done. I started having crushes on girls pretty early so there was a new crush every quarter of the year or church.

    Oh! So there was a pastor. That's true...the guy that goes on and on behind the pulpit backing the fine chics that sang the treble part in the choir.

    I always knew there was something dodgy about the pastor cos when I saw him during the week, the air of invincibility was not there - as he blended with secular men and I could have sworn I saw him wink at a chic.

    However, thank God there were some pastors in the same church who weren't as influential that seemed more chaste and godly. They made church going more solemn than the "guy behind the pulpit with swag".

    The Church is marching on.


  3. Hee Estelle..., na wah for u!!! You are really something else. Never taught I'll discuss this with anyone and here I am doing so on ur blog. Do u know I used to imagine how they(Pastors) get down. I even imagine them doing it with their wives. Whenever the Pastor mounts d pulpit (preaching) and I see his wife, my mind does nothing else but imagine things and stupid questions like a) Is he good in bed? b) Did he do it yesternight etc..... A beg Estelle, I hv said too much, let me shut up joo!!! Always Aunty Nnenna****

  4. I try as much as possible 2 stay focused during church service.But, I can't deny d fact that I sometimes ask myself how they go about having sex.The styles they use and the kind of sound(track)they make.God forgive us o!

  5. Funny enough I don't spend my time thinking of any of those. My mind just roams around my personal business/life issues. Apart from listening to the sermon, its another time to brood n ponder over things I've done in d past and my plans. As for how he spends my offering, that's btwn hi$ n God. On d sex part, b4 nko, he's human. He probably did it just b4 coming to church.

  6. pastor na person. a pastor occupies an office. Pastor is a position, an office and that's all about that. Our problem is that an occupier of that office should live above board and follow in the way of Jesus. Pastor's fail tests if we don't pray for them and if they don't pray. Stop looking at your pastors flap or thinking about the size or how he does it or if he did it last night..... Just spend time and pray for your pastor everyday

  7. Now that you mentioned Pastor is an old man, so I doubt if he's doing anything...what goes on in my mind dey plenty jare...

  8. What goes on in my mind? Choi una no go wan know. Do u knw how manu times I have become dangote inside church? Or built business empires in fantasy land inside better preaching? Or even wen my eyes are fixed on d priest,I wil snoop around to look @ the ladies. My mind wanders far and near,smetimes goin to church is to have time to really dwell in fantasy land. Estelle,welldone o,u done hear my secret ba? @DrSeby

  9. kwarruption...