Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Handling Attraction




Attraction means different things to different people but basically, it’s an arousal of interest in someone. Reasons why someone’s interest could be piqued all depends on one or more of these factors: physical attributes, character traits, voice, smell, adornment, cultural factors or even one’s background but how they act on these feelings is another cup of tea.

We live in a patriarchal society where men have more influence and can get away with so much, the women are inhibited and a code of conduct is forced down their throats. This is why it’s never easy finding a woman who would go all out and declare her feelings; a woman who makes the first move is regarded as either desperate or aggressive, but thanks to exposure and confidence or what I’d call “open eye”, a lot of women are comfortable enough to let the man know how they feel.

Attractions are usually fed when there’s reinforcement, this is when the guy acts in a manner showing he is happy with the attention and there’s a steady exchange of calls, texts and chats. In contrast, he may get displeased at some point if he feels you’re getting too close for comfort. You have to consider the fact that he may not really be what you imagined; he could just be savvy via texts and email and wouldn’t really want to address what’s on ground but rather enjoying the thrill of the moment.

If you as a woman feel you have the guts to open up then here are three options you may consider:

  1. Come out straight and tell him how you feel. Though the problem with this option is that he may see you as desperate or aggressive.
  2. Be his friend, you know what they say about relationships that started out as friendships but you may still run the risk of getting friend zoned and you’ll now be the one he talks to about other girls while you die in silence.
  3.  Flirt with him, use innuendoes. Give him something to think and wonder about, besides it makes you more approachable and lets off an aura of confidence.

Note that these options are not cast in stone o! I’ve tried the first option and it backfired, dude ran like hell, infact that’s a story for another day.


In all, it’s good to take risks, what’s the worst that can happen? Rejection? Embarrassment? They don’t kill, you’ll only feel crappy for a while then you move on, no looking back because you got the clarification you needed.



24 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha u really tried the first one...haba! U for try me na,I for run faster than d oda guy,only say na towards u I go run come...*wink*

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  2. Truth is men are confused. everyday you hear men say they like a confident woman who knows what she wants and can take initiative. and when they see women who do, they turn the other way. still boils down to saying one thing and meaning another thing

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    1. Sorry my dear the man becomes confused wen he notice the lady is faking those qualities......

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    2. Faking those qualities? how would you know she's faking it? she may really mean it

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  3. i like the line-"Dude ran like hell"yes oh before he drowns in the avalanche of fake love.

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    1. Heheheheh Francis I'll have ur head on a platter

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  4. @Anonymous,your comments has provoked me to say this,and its very important that all you ladies pay attention.There is a world of difference between Being confident/productive and evincing imperial tendencies.Again,we must never forget who we are culturally,its the people's culture that defines and sets them apart.Education and skill shuoldn't erase this.Be confident but please combine it with humility and respect/sensitivity for our culture.very important.Again,look closely at him and discover how to appeal to the king in him inspite of all your capabilities/potentials/possessions/acquisitions.

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    1. Funny how people use culture to judge others. same culture upholds a lot of values that should be a man's prerogative and how the modern day man is living up to those expectations is questionable. at the end of the day a lot has been mainstreamed, there's been a exchange of roles and i feel it's wrong to condemn women who summon up courage to speak out

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  5. OluwaToyin Margaret11 June, 2013 10:44

    I once put my feelings on paper for a guy I had soft spot for... He was like an 'elder bros' and I sensed that even though the feeling was mutual, he was cautioning himself cos of the supposed 'sister/brother' relationship. We dated for over 3 yrs.

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  6. Okechuku Izeogu II11 June, 2013 11:26

    The prayer is always that the feeling of attraction is mutual or at least has the potential to develop into a mutual show of affection.

    Ladies who break the barriers to approach and declare their interest in a guy should be treated as queens cos it's not your everyday occurrence and only gentlemen will appreciate the move and will more often than not reciprocate or even take over the wooing process. How it is handled if he isn't interested will go a long way to keep her ego in place and keep her respect for the guy.

    It's a tough one, but one that occurs regularly. I believe feelings should never be subdued especially when it's romantic.

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    1. Okey in as much as i agree with you but i wont try it again, kill me first. i'm relatively proud and the experience was hard to swallow

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    2. Heheheheheh! Pride comes before a fall, or so they say. :-P
      Sypho

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    3. lol! i already fell once naaaa, how many more times u wan make i fall? u no dey pity me?

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  7. Please Ladies should forget the 'be confident and approach/go for what/who you want bla, bla, bla....I think getting the guy to notice you(using various formats...lol)is still the best bet, unless being rejected and embarrassed doesn't get to you.
    Vivian

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    1. hahahaha Vivian which formats biko? *learningmodeactivated*

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  8. Chris Aguocha11 June, 2013 17:05

    Intersting...!

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  9. So I just dey f**k up since, crunchyaple u dey do most of these things to me na

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahhhahahaha time don reach to comot this anonymous platform o!

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  10. So I just dey f**k up since, crunchyaple u dey do most of these things to me na

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  11. No remove am oooh na for shy guys like us lol

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  12. It is well..... buh most Nigerian girls have met that are interested in me always say the same thing which is " I would for you to be ma husband coz you'll be a good father and husband " which is always very annoying! What about now?

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    1. Bakrin so u've been letting all those girls decieve u

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  13. The first eye contacts and maybe turning round or just look at distance maybe same with the men but the rest is not because we men have other things to make up,not that Tyson punch.lol

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