Handling Attraction

Attraction means different things to different people but basically, it’s an arousal of interest in someone. Reasons why someone’s interest could be piqued all depends on one or more of these factors: physical attributes, character traits, voice, smell, adornment, cultural factors or even one’s background but how they act on these feelings is another cup of tea.

We live in a patriarchal society where men have more influence and can get away with so much, the women are inhibited and a code of conduct is forced down their throats. This is why it’s never easy finding a woman who would go all out and declare her feelings; a woman who makes the first move is regarded as either desperate or aggressive, but thanks to exposure and confidence or what I’d call “open eye”, a lot of women are comfortable enough to let the man know how they feel.

Attractions are usually fed when there’s reinforcement, this is when the guy acts in a manner showing he is happy with the attention and there’s a steady exchange of calls, texts and chats. In contrast, he may get displeased at some point if he feels you’re getting too close for comfort. You have to consider the fact that he may not really be what you imagined; he could just be savvy via texts and email and wouldn’t really want to address what’s on ground but rather enjoying the thrill of the moment.

If you as a woman feel you have the guts to open up then here are three options you may consider:

1. Come out straight and tell him how you feel. Though the problem with this option is that he may see you as desperate or aggressive.
2. Be his friend, you know what they say about relationships that started out as friendships but you may still run the risk of getting friend zoned and you’ll now be the one he talks to about other girls while you die in silence.
3.  Flirt with him, use innuendoes. Give him something to think and wonder about, besides it makes you more approachable and lets off an aura of confidence.

Note that these options are not cast in stone o! I’ve tried the first option and it backfired, dude ran like hell, infact that’s a story for another day.

In all, it’s good to take risks, what’s the worst that can happen? Rejection? Embarrassment? They don’t kill, you’ll only feel crappy for a while then you move on, no looking back because you got the clarification you needed.